#97 - On Relationships and Human Nature
Thoughts
This week I want to talk about relationships and human nature. I talk lot about property, investing, tech and all sorts of productivity things to reach your goals, but amongst those who are hustling, it’s important to remember that the most important thing to our happiness is having great relationships.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had more realisations from experience about human nature in general and having relationships with people. So that’s everything, whether it’s in the capacity of professional relationships, friends, family, romance, or everything in between. These have come about mostly through my journalling so I thought I’d share them here as they are principles and things I try to keep in mind:
- It’s true, ‘you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with’.
- How you say something is just as (sometimes more) important than what you say.
- Figure out who cares about you vs those that just say they do.
- Everyone wants something; figure out what it is.
- If you are true to yourself, you’ll likely have to disappoint someone, and that’s ok.
- Not everyone will like you, however hard you try or if you do right by them.
- Relationships are not a constant, they are always changing, deteriorating, developing, maturing, and improving.
- Giving someone more of what they already don’t appreciate won’t make them appreciate it.
- People are never fully logical or completely 100% rational, there’s often an underlying emotional reason if they behave in a way you don’t expect.
- Humans are jealous, which sometimes can include ‘friends’ and family, something to be aware of.
- People are fine-tuned to suss out disingenuousness.
What I’m Reading
This week I’ve reread ‘Never Split the Difference’, my favourite book about negotiation. It was written by an FBI negotiator with real world anecdotes. It’s an entertaining read and hugely applicable to everyday life.
Resource of the week
Great Taste food award directory. This one is for the foodies. If you’re looking for something that is more bespoke than stuff you find in the supermarket, it can be a great resource to find some real gems. It started when I read a report that a scarily high proportion of supermarket honey was essentially fake. I’ve had some really great finds on here, from dark chocolate to honey.
Quote
Prepare, prepare, prepare. When the pressure is on, you don't rise to the occasion; you fall to your highest level of preparation.
Chris Voss - Never Split the Difference
Hans